Dear Sockpuppet News,

I would like to place an ( advertisement )

I have only spandex to pay you with, and enclose a delightful pair of leggings as payment.


Yours still trapped with old people,

Adrahil of Dol Amroth

I am still in the Strudel Park Home for the Elderly.

I am still lacking in spandex.

I am also still lacking in swan legions. This does not a happy Adrahil make. Hmmm.

::blink::

Where am I and why am I suddenly surrounded by old people and nurses?

My search for the cheese has not yielded dairy produce. This sickens and disgusts me.

What kind of city has no cheese?

I am still lacking in swans. :(

::stands on park bench::

Friends, Dol Amrothians, countrymen, lend me your ears!
I come to...

wait. I seem to have forgotten what I was going to say. Petunia, is that you? Where am I?

What's going on? Who are you?

My son(s) have forgotten me. This is most disappointing.

I shall go and weep into my spandex.

A Story by Adrahil Swanhelm. Aged.... something and two thirds.

Once upon a time there was a swan called... Eugene. Eugene was a very content swan until one day he became encased in jello and DIED.

The End.

THE SWANS!!! SAVE THE SWANS FROM THE JELLO!

My muse was cruelly pecked to death by a swan. My grand opus may never be completed.

::coughcough::

Once upon a time there was a great playwright named Adrahil. One day as he was going about his business, he felt the urge to relieve himself. Upon entering the lavatory he discovered a terrible thing.

HE WAS AS ANATOMICALLY INCORRECT AS A KEN DOLL

::rocks backwards and forwards::

::disappears into cupboard::

::reemerges in tights::